Quick Facts on Families
With LGBT Parents
• Millions of children in the U.S. are growing up in homes with
LGBT parents.
• According to the 2000 Census, California has more gay and
lesbian couples with children than any other state, and these
families live in every county in California.
• Families with LGBT parents come in many shapes and family
arrangements. They include families of all races, ethnic
groups,
socioeconomic status, and religions; and families
living in all kinds of communities.
• According to the American Association of Pediatrics and
the American Psychiatric Association, research shows that
children of LGBT parents do just as well in emotional,
cognitive, and social development as children whose parents
are heterosexual.
• Many schools are unsafe and
unwelcoming for students with LGBT
parents. In the California Safe Schools
Coalition’s 2003 Preventing School
Harassment Survey, 91 percent of
students reported hearing anti-LGBT
slurs at school. 39 percent of students
surveyed said their school was unsafe
for students with LGBT
parents.
What California
Law Says
• Students with LGBT parents have the right to attend
school in safety, free of any form of harassment or
discrimination.
• Students and school staff are protected from harassment
and discrimination on the basis of association with LGBT
people, as well as actual or perceived sexual orientation or
gender identity. (Education Code Section 200 and 220)
• Schools have an “affi rmative obligation” to combat bias,
including bias based on sexual orientation and gender
identity. (Education Code Section 201)
• LGBT parents have the right to participate on an equal
basis with all parents in
their school community
and to be recognized
equally in all school
policies, forms, and
documents.
• LGBT parents have the
same right as other
parents to designate a
person to act on their
behalf at school.
The California Safe Schools Coalition is a Project of the Tides Center.
160 14th St., San Francisco CA, 94103 415.626.1680 www.casafeschools.org
“ My son has been told many times by
teachers and peers that ‘there is no such
thing’ as having two moms.”
—Mom of a 7 year old
Find Out More
FOR INFORMATION, SUPPORT, CURRICULA,
LOCAL CHAPTERS, AND OTHER RESOURCES ON
LGBT FAMILIES, CONTACT:
California Safe Schools Coalition
www.casafeschools.org
415-626-1680
COLAGE
(Children of Lesbians And Gays Everywhere)
www.colage.org
415-861-KIDS
Family Pride Coalition
www.familypride.org
202-331-5015
GLSEN
(Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network)
www.glsen.org
212-727-0135
Gay-Straight Alliance Network
www.gsanetwork.org
415-552-4229
Human Rights Campaign
www.hrc.org
800-777-4723
The L.A. Gay and Lesbian Center’s Family
Services Program
www.laglc.org
323-860-7397
PFLAG
(Parent, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays)
www.pfl ag.org
202-467-8180
Women’s Educational Media
www.womedia.org
415-641-4616
“I felt like I couldn’t tell anyone in my
school about my mom.”
— Landon, 18 year old son of a lesbian mom and a straight dad
All
Families
Welcome
Making Your School
Safe for Students with
Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual &
Transgender Parents
“In middle school when I made
my family tree, my teacher told me it
couldn’t have two moms. I was told it could
either have one of my moms’ sides, or I
could ‘make up a father.’”
—Marina, daughter of lesbian moms
www.casafeschools.org
This publication was funded by grants from The California Endowment,
the Evelyn and Walter Haas, Jr. Fund and the Columbia Foundation.
Photo Courtesy of The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Family Services Program
Photo Courtesy of The L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center’s Family Services Program
“In foreign language classes, every time
I had a new teacher and we were describing
our families, I was told that I was not
doing it right because I said I had two
mothers instead of a mother and father.”
— Quinn, son of gay dads and lesbian moms
• Make your classroom accessible to LGBT families.
Welcome LGBT parents to parent-teacher conferences,
school open houses, classroom volunteering, and school
events.
• Ask about your students’ families instead of making
assumptions, and respect the terms students choose to
describe their families. Don’t ask “which one is your real
mom/dad?”
• Always intervene when you witness slurs or harassment
based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Use these
incidents as “teachable moments” in your classroom.
• Show your support. Display posters that include diverse
families, support the Gay-Straight Alliance club at your
school, find out about school policies for responding to
harassment, and request training for faculty and staff.
• Include LGBT people and families in your curriculum. For
example, update your family tree project to include LGBT
families, or use an LGBT family in a story problem in math
class. When your class studies a writer or scientist who is
LGBT, mention that fact.
• Don’t assume that a student who has LGBT parents will also
identify as LGBT.
• Never “out” a student with LGBT parents. Only the
student should decide when they feel safe to talk to peers
about their family.
Adapted from COLAGE publication “Tips for Making Classrooms Safer
for Students with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Parents.” The
full resource is available at www.colage.org/pubs/safe_classrooms.html.
“ It hurts to deal with form after form,
each of which repeats, as a drumbeat, ‘your
family is not normal.’”
— Dad of a 22 year old
“ One nice thing has been that our
child’s teachers have always given her extra
time to prepare a second Mother’s Day card on
Mother’s Day.”—Mom of an 8 year old
• Update all school forms and documents to use the words
“Parent or Guardian” instead of “Mother” or “Father”.
• Examine school policies such as signature requirements
for permission slips, procedures for picking up children in
emergencies, and disciplinary policies, to ensure that they
are inclusive of LGBT parents.
• Discuss the need to include LGBT families with all teachers
and staff, and support the use of activities and curricula that
are inclusive of all family types.
• Acknowledge and include LGBT parents in school events,
parent-teacher conferences, volunteer opportunities, and
all activities that include parents.
• Establish a safe school climate free from slurs, harassment,
and discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender
identity. For example:
∏ Establish an anti-harassment policy that explicitly
includes sexual orientation and gender identity;
∏ Train teachers and staff to respond to harassment and
to utilize curriculum with information about sexual
orientation and gender identity.
∏ Welcome and actively support Gay-Straight Alliance
clubs on campus.
Strategies for Students and Parents
“When I was a freshman in high
school, one of my mothers died. Every
day for two weeks the principal
would pull me out of class to see how I
was doing. He acknowledged that
she was a parent and not just
my mother’s partner.”
— Kate, daughter of lesbian moms
Photo - Jenny Laden
Stand up for your rights as a full
member of the school community,
and be proactive about making your
school environment safe.
• Introduce your family to your teachers
and administrators at the beginning of
every school year, and give them this
brochure.
• Join the Gay-Straight Alliance club at
your school, or the COLAGE chapter
in your area – or start new ones if they
don’t already exist.
Steps for School Administrators Classroom Strategies for Teachers
If you experience harassment
or discrimination:
• Document each incident in writing.
• Talk to your teacher or principal about
what happened and what they will do
about it.
• File a formal complaint with your school
or school district.
• Contact the California Safe Schools
Coalition at www.casafeschools.org
for help.
Photo courtesy of COLAGE
Photo courtesy of COLAGE
